The Discworld being something of a favourite of mine, I made every effort to be available for this production. I knew my skills as a fight director would be needed, and was even more pleased when I got the part of Walter Plinge as well.

In this classic comedy about the Permissive Society, I was rather disappointed not to get the part of the hypochondriac son Dennis, and ended up instead as the suicidal maniac, Mr Purdue.

I went to the audition to see if there was anything I could do (turning up and being useful has not failed me yet). It being a four-part play for two men and two women, and (apart from the director) there being only two men there, I was fairly sure of getting a part. And get one I did - Roger Fuller, my biggest so far.

In this mangling together of lots of different fairy stories and their retelling in one pantomime, I played Simple Simon, and later, the Wicked Queen's Magic Mirror. I also designed and operated the effects.

I wasn't planning on being involved with this, due to another production taking up much of my time, but when that fell through, I quickly found a place running the sound effects for this satirical comedy.

As this play opened just a few days after the Gala, I found rehearsals somewhat frantic. However, that didn't stop me playing the part of Adam Stratton almost flawlessly.
I also found time to set up the unusual lighting rig that the play required - three seperate and distinct lighting areas that left the other parts of the stage dark. And when the stage is only 18' x 12', that's some feat!

This farce required not too much in the way of ingenuity to set up the lights for it, but it did require some to find sound effects that sounded - well, bad, really.

I not only designed the lighting (yet again), I also got a great review as Lord Byron.

Despite trying not to get too involved in this, in case I got a job doing effects in a professional theatre (the third time I'd used that argument), I found myself designing and operating light and sound effects, in this dark comedy set in an airport.
It was produced as part of a promotion in association with Amateur Stage, and was directed by the writer's mother-in-law, Mollie Thornton.

From pre-show rumours, this sounded like a good play to be in. Also from pre-show rumours, I thought I'd have a go at the part of Teddy, but when I skimmed some of the lines at the reading, I knew I wouldn't be suitable. I got the parts of Dr Harper and Officer O'Hara instead, and later the part of Gibbs too. Rehearsals were a bit tricky - due to the theatre being used by the local college for the first couple of weeks, we had to borrow the rehearsal rooms of another local group (Sutton Amateurs). Once we got back to SLT, things picked up a bit...
And also, once again, I designed the lighting. And scrabbled round in the workshop for props. And made a couple of props as well. And got recruited as a general dogsbody. And also, as per usual, no thanks came my way, but piss-taking did!

I do know that this was not the play we originally intended to present in this slot, and I do know that internal politicking was the reason for the change, but I haven't the foggiest what the play originally intended for October was. Anyway, as there was only one male part (and that had been cast way back in July), it fell to me to once again design and operate the lighting and effects. A simple job you might think, what with there being only two internally-consistent acts, and a total of five sound effects in the entire play. Not so! What with all our spotlights packing up and some sound effects not available until the final dress rehearsal, things did not go exactly as planned. Mind you, only using two thirds of the floods with no filter in to simulate fluorescent strip lights, and using yellow filters in the others to simulate a summer's day six months later was pretty effective, if I do say so myself.
We also required a prop gun. Now, as we already had one, you may think this was not a problem. But the script required for the gun to be broken, which our current gun couldn't do - or, at least, do it more than once, anyway. So I made one. It took me nine hours to lovingly craft out of wood in the theatre's workshop - and about five minutes to insert the break that effectively ruined a damn fine piece of craftsmanship. It's going to be repaired soon, so maybe we'll have a decent prop rifle.

I made sure I had absolutely nothing to do with the lights this time round - I wanted a break to enjoy myself more. However, it was not to be.
At the reading, I was completely ignored for the part I wanted to do, and although I know I would not have been as good in it as the person who got the part, I would have preferred to at least have been asked. Instead, I was shunted into a smaller part which I had no interest in at all, and which quickly became abhorrent to me. It didn't help when everybody kept saying how perfectly suited to the part I was.
Then, when the director stated her intention to put a couple of swords that the theatre has on the wall, I objected on the grounds that doing so could well be illegal. They were foils - one of which had no safety tip, the other had been broken off some inches from the top. Both of them had lethal capability because of this, and therefore should not have been allowed on stage, even as static exhibits. I was shouted down, overidden and ignored.

As rehearsals for this started during the rehearsals for Wild Goose Chase, I was not feeling all that good about them anyway. Things got even worse when, on the rehearsal the day immediately after the play finished, we were rehearsing a musical number, and the person who was to partner me looked utterly revolted when they realised it would be me they were partenering. I quickly removed myself from most of the production, leaving only the Four Yorkshiremen sketch from Monty Python, a Noel Coward sketch, and a swordfight that I had devised, in order to show that a decent sword fight needn't be long or complicated. I rather enjoyed that. And only that.

This was a very easy play to do effects for - the only tricky part being at the end of Act II Scene i, where I had to dim the lights to indicate an approaching storm, play a thunderstorm sound effect and time it to end just in time for the end of the scene, then blackout, quick curtain, working lights on, play some intermission music ("Too Much Love Will Kill You" by Queen), working lights off, music down, and curtain open. The whole process from the start of the first fade to the intermission music going on was never more than two minutes, and most of the action happened in the last 20-30 seconds. It was the sort of flurry of activity that makes you wish you had longer arms, or that the equipment was closer together. Nevertheless, I acomplished it all easily. Except on the last night, when I had an attack of Ghandi's Revenge, and barely made it to the interval before having to retire sick - the director took over effects for the second half, but as I had briefed him on the sequence, and he knew what needed to happen, and it was fairly straightforward anyway, there were no problems.

This was the play I been had aiming to do for the last two years - if they weren't going to let me put on a play I had written, they were damn well going to let me play the lead in the play set to replace it in the running order.
Getting the part was easy - keeping it was another matter. I knew it was going to be hard work, and I was prepared for it. I had had similar-sized parts before, and had very little problem with them. I knew this part would be bigger, in both size and prestige - it is such a famous play, so well-known, that if I messed it up, everyone would know about it. Several times I thought about quitting - the director didn't think I was up to the job at times, and I was quite happy to let him find another lead if he was just going to treat me like the 17 year-old kid who turned up ten years ago. Due to the effects man never having done effects for us before, and some problems with finding the sound effects, and me getting the blame for trying to help, I did not enjoy the dress rehearsal at all.
I did enjoy the actual performances though. The heat in the theatre made it hard work, but everyone who came to see it enjoyed it, and they kept telling us all. I was especially congratulated on the smartness of my costumes, even though everyone looked pretty damn fantastic.