I was inspired to issue the challenge (write a short (<1000 words) fic set before the last ep of Farscape Season IV, any style, any content, any plot, any thing. All that has to be included is someone saying "Why - and I realise this may be a silly question - are you wearing a bedsheet?") after seeing a trailer for Farscape: Peacekeeper Wars on TV. As at the time I didn't have a TV, I thought of something else to relieve the boredom. The challenge was posted to my livejournal.

By LJ usersabremeister :

Moya hung in space, unmoving. The assorted crew were passing the time peacefully. It was a day of rest, relaxation, and inactivity for all of them. They had been having to make quite a few starbursts to avoid Peacekeeper patrols recently, and now, in this peaceful, unpopulated area, they were taking the opportunity to relax as Moya regained her strength.

Aeryn was restlessly stripping down her weapons and cleaning them. D'Argo was trying to recall a childhood tune on his Luxan harp. Sikozu was talking to Pilot about Leviathans. Noranti was mixing up something vile-smelling and even viler-looking, although presumably it had a beneficial effect. John was alternating between napping and trying to compose a new message to his dad. Of Chianna and Rygel there was no sign.

John finally gave up trying to think of something to put in his message, and since he was not remotely tired, called DíArgo. "Hey, Big-D! You doiní anything?"

"I was," came the reply. "You broke my concentration. What is it, John?"

"Sorry, if itís important, this can wait."

DíArgo sighed under his breath. "No, itís not anything that canít be attempted later. What is it?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to throw a few on the hangar deck?"

Another sigh from DíArgo. "Why not? Itís not as though anythingís going to happen otherwise, is it?"

John was already up. "Better not," he replied. "Iíll see you down there." He went over to where heíd put his baseball and mitt that heíd brought back with him from Earth. And couldnít find it. He cast about for a few minutes, and, still not finding it, called DíArgo again. "Hey, DíArgo Ė Iíll be a few minutes, Iíve misplaced my ball."

"Take your time."

John stood and thought for a while, and recalled Rygel snooping around last time heíd swept by. Rolling his eyes at how obvious the solution was when he thought about it, John called Rygel. "Rygel! Hey, Rygel!" Then, "Pilot, whereís Rygel?"

"I donít appear to have a fix on him, Commander," replied Pilot, "is something the matter?"

"Nah Ė heís just run off with my baseball, is all. Iíll catch him. Whereíd you last see him?"

"DRDs last report seeing Rygel on tier six."

"Oh great. When?"

"About an arn ago."

"He could have gone anywhere in that time. DíArgo! Wanna play hunt the Hynerian instead?"

"Whatís Rygel done now?"

"Run off with my baseball, Pilot last saw him on tier six an arn ago."

"Iíll help you look."

"Anyone else wanna help look for Rygel?"

"Why, whatís he done?" came Aerynís voice.

"Taken Johnís baseball," DíArgo told her.

"Where was he last seen?"

"On tier six, an arn ago."

"May as well Ė itíll be something to do."

"Sikozu? Granny? Chianna?"

"Iíll stop here with Pilot, thanks, Iím not done talking to him."

"I cannot leave my preparation at this stage in itsí preparation."

John sighed. "Chianna? Chianna?"

DíArgo broke in. "Pilot, let me guess - Chianna hasnít been seen for an arn, either."

"A little more, Kaía DíArgo. Last seen on tier five."

"Okay, so weíre looking for two missing persons and one baseball & mitt. Iíll see you guys on tier five in a few microts."


But after twenty minutes of searching, John, Aeryn and DíArgo had found no sign of Chianna and Rygel.

"You got anything at all up there, Pliot?" asked DíArgo.

"Nothing new," came the reply. "However, Sikozu has suggested something that will guarantee we can at least contact Rygel temporarily."

"Can you do it?"

"It will take a few more microts to implement, Commander. Ah Ė ready when you are."

"Proceed, Pilot."

"Done. You may try calling him now, Commander."

"Hey, Rygel? Whereíve you got to?"

There was no reply for maybe half a second, then the sound of Rygel growling, plus an occasional yelp from someone who could only be Chianna in the background, and a constant rhythmic "whump whump whump". Then the sound cut off, but not before Chianna was heard saying "Donít you dare!".

"Is that it?"

"I did say Ďtemporarilyí, Commander."

"Okay, I get that. Did you get a location out of that?"

"The signal appeared to be coming from the ventilation hub."

"Thatís on the other side of the ship," Aeryn remarked, "how did they get up there?"

"And what," DíArgo rumbled, "were they doing to make those noises?"

John looked sidelong at him. "You really wanna know? Come on, letís go get my ball back."


The three of them made their way to the ventilation hub. Just before they got there, Rygel appeared through a door, at head height. He was going so fast he nearly ricocheted off the wall. He was dragging something large and white behind his chair. The little Hynerian came to an abrupt halt when he saw the three.

"Thank goodness youíve found me! It was hell in there!" he said, shaking.

"Rygel," John began. "Why Ė and I realise this may be a silly question Ė are you wearing a bedsheet?"

"Itís a long story that I donít intend to enlighten you with," he snarled, and sped off again in the opposite direction.

"Shall we get after him?" asked Aeryn.

"I think weíd better find out what happened to him first," John replied. "Besides, heís out of whatever it is, and Chianna could still be in it."

"He came through this door," DíArgo said, striding forward. The door swung open as he approached, and the three of them crowded in the doorway.

On the far side, there was a miniature table, with miniature cups and plates, and several slices of what appeared to be cake. And Chianna, sitting sulking next to it all, by a pile of Rygelís clothes and several assorted items of jewellery.

"What the frell has been going on here?"

Chianna looked up. "I wanted to have a tea party."

"It doesnít appear to have been very successful."

"I didnít have a dolly, so I used Rygel. He looked so cute in that sheet that I altered to be a dress, but he got away."

As DíArgo and Aeryn fell about laughing, John asked, "You didnít happen to notice if he had my baseball on him, did you?"