Some of my favourite lines...

 

"The King would like to see you."

"Then he can make an appointment. I've got a prior engagement, and I'm running late."

"He has made an appointment, Cullan," Styfsen replied, "he sent me to tell you about it. And to make sure you attend."

 

Cullan leaned down. "A real wizard wouldn't have let me get this close, a real wizard wouldn't have let me pin them, a real wizard would have found a way to get me off by now," he snarled. "Count to three."

"O-one... T-t-twoooo...."

"One plus two is ..?"

The wizard chose to faint, rather than answer. Cullan retrieved both his knives, pulled the man's robe down, stood up, and walked off.

 

"You prefer a life of idleness and luxury as opposed to honest work."

"Who wouldn't?" Cullan laughed.

 

"Smart man. Now how's about you and me bond, by you telling me how badly you want to get into Georgia's loincloth?" Cullan gave him an evil grin.

"No," the paladin replied flatly.

"Oh, go on. I can tell she's got a soft spot for you. I'll tell you how badly I want to get into Alys' loincloth."

"I thought you already were?"

"Well, yeah. But, it doesn't stop me thinking about getting into more than her loincloth."

 

"Guess what, Venor?" Grakna muttered as she retrieved her knife and went back to bed. "Tomorrow, you're on latrine duty."

 

"Aaaarrrggghhh!" Roxeth stormed out, a gesture bringing the other paladins with her.

"Was it something I said?" Cullan asked innocently.

 

"But that one's easy," Alys told her. "I'm not an Orc, I'm a mercenary. I don't have to obey your rules."