A pair of extremely simplified versions of examples of Greek Tragedy.


Antigone: I can't marry you.

Haemon: Why not?

Antigone: Secrets!

Creon: Don't bury your brother!

Antigone: [Blows raspberry]

Chorus: Faaate!

Ismene: Don't bury our brother.

Antigone: Too late, I've already started

Creon: Guards, un-bury her brother!

Antigone: No!

Chorus: Faaate!

Creon: Stop messing around and marry your cousin.

Antigone: Shan't!

Creon: In that case, I have to order you buried alive.

Haemon: No!

Antigone: Go on, then.

Creon: Guards, bury her alive!

Antigone: I did my duty.

Chorus: Faaate!

Guard: Oh by the way sire, your whole family's dead.



Calchas: Kill your daughter!

Agamemnon: Okay. No, wait

Menelaus: Kill your daughter

Agamemnon: Bite me!

Iphigenia & Clytemnestra: Wedding!

Agamemnon: Er...

Achilles: Wedding? What wedding?

Clytemnestra: No wedding? Sacrifice!

Agamemnon: Yes.

Clytemnestra: No!

Achilles: No.

Iphigenia: No.

Agamemnon: Yes!

Achilles: No.

Clytemnestra: No!

Iphigenia: Yes.

Agamemnon: Yes.

Clytemnestra: Yes?

Iphigenia: Yes.

Calchas: Right. Done!

Agamemnon: Bye, off to sack Troy!