In the first half of 2010, Sacar's Drama & Theatre Crafts workshop created a play called Solo's Journey. It was to be our first long-form live production, and was performed at the Bradford Alhambra Studio Theatre on the 20th of May 2010 to a fantastic reception. Each member of the workshop contributed to the play, usually by writing a scene which featured their preferred character. I was Solo, but I didn't know it when I wrote this scene.
LIGHT UP (outdoors), dim. SOLO ENTERS LEFT. He is soaking wet and visibly shaken by his ordeal. He is looking around him, taking in his surroundings. He sees an interesting bottle.
Solo I wonder what’s in this?
He un-stoppers it, and sniffs the contents
Solo Hmm, nice smell. Wonder what it tastes like?
He takes a swig. Sound FX of a harp running up through the scales. Lights fade and come up all psychedelic. SOLO wobbles on his feet and collapses. After a few moments, the lights calm down, and he gets up.
Solo Woah! What was in that?
ENTER from STAGE RIGHT, a PUNK VAMPIRE
Vampire Does it matter? You’re in my power now!
Solo What? What do you mean?
Vampire I planted that bottle so I could capture you for my next meal!
Solo Next meal?
ENTER LEFT, a PIRATE
Pirate Wait!
Solo (Looking round) Saved!.. By a ... pirate?
Pirate No, you’re not saved! I planted that bottle for you to find, and you’re my prisoner now!
Solo What?
Pirate That was an hallucinogenic drink, so that whoever drinks it will be in the power of the one who brewed it. And that was me, so back off ye scurvy dog, you!
ENTER from RIGHT, an ALIEN
Alien Oh no you don’t! He’s mine! It was my potion he drank!
Vampire What?
Pirate What?
Solo What?
Alien It’s easier than collecting specimens properly! (He Brandishes a ray gun) Now, you, step over here – and you two stay back!
Vampire No, he’s mine! I saw him first!
Pirate No, he’s mine! Back off!
SOLO looks between the three of them
Solo Actually, if this is an hallucination, I think the pink-haired one is the most appropriate. I’ll go with you.
SOLO moves towards the VAMPIRE
Alien That was your fault!
Pirate No, it was yours!
Alien Yours!
Pirate Yours!
The VAMPIRE is about to EXIT RIGHT with SOLO, when MICHAELA [a man dressed as a very cut-rate female superhero knock-off] ENTERS LEFT and stops them.
Michaela Never fear, Mighty Michaela is here!
Solo Now I know I’m hallucinating!
Michaela (To VAMPIRE) Unhand him, you fiend!
The VAMPIRE lets SOLO go and squares up to MICHAELA
Vampire Yeah? Or what?
Michaela Or I won’t let you go to Primark with me!
The VAMPIRE gives a girly scream, a la Homer Simpson when faced with sock puppets or diet soda
Vampire Aaah! No! All right, he’s yours – I don’t want him!
Solo Thank you, and goodnight!
He sprints OFF RIGHT.
Alien Hey! That’s my specimen running away there!
Pirate There goes my prisoner!
Vampire There goes my lunch!
The ALIEN and PIRATE give chase, followed by the VAMPIRE, and finally MICHAELA.
© Brian Wakeling